Princess or Queen?
by Trisyl
Summary: Continuing on Mia's life a month from where it left off, it takes place at the moment when Mia's Mom is giving birth to her new baby brother, and Mia discovers something very annoying, that is AGAIN Grandmere's fault.
1. Default Chapter

Princess Diaries: By Meg Cabot  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing that Meg Cabot owns, just the plotline.  
  
This is my first princess diary fanfic. You can be mean if you want, but know that you're being cruel to a poor little teenager. *sniff*  
  
The Emergency Room at the Hospital:  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
My life is so totally over. (And I'm going to start leaving dates out of this diary from now on, because I'm too lazy too keep them up)  
  
I'm serious this time. I can't believe they did this to me. I can't believe GRANDMERE LET them do this to ME. Well, ok, actually, I can probably imagine her handing over MY private life, and letting them write STORIES about it. Yeah, you get the picture. Stories about Princess Yours-Truly, Mia Thermopolis. What do they call it? Oh yeah, FANFICTION.  
  
Only, even after the emotional moment last month, Grandmere still refuses to call me Mia. It's still Amelia; even after all we've been through. You know if this were a movie, instead of real life, Grandmere would so totally adore me right about now, would never SELL MY PRIVACY! And for what? You know what. A COMMERCIAL ON GENOVIA'S BEACHES. Yup, she's still insulted about that whole Dad-Dating-Person-Who-Only-Showed-One-Picture-Of-the- Genovian-Palace-in-The-Princess-Interview thing.  
  
But getting back to the subject, what's wrong with my life? Well, a few minutes ago, I thought my life was perfect. After all, I now have:  
  
A boyfriend! Michael Moscovitz, whom I have dreamt about for my ENTIRE LIFE. Now, I don't just dream. I drool, I daydream, I go way out of whack, and I sketch. Lily thinks it's disgusting. She says that I'm degrading the female population of America, and she hopes that I never reproduce. You know, Lily, I'm just so glad the fan fiction authors don't know about you.  
  
A passing grade in Algebra. No, wait, more than that. A B!!! Isn't that great? Plus, all those studying sessions with Michael seem to have lead to something else.  
  
Kenny has gotten a girlfriend. Specifically, Judith Gershner. I know, I know, a couple weeks ago, it was a guy from Trinity, and he's way too young for her (never mind that I'm in his grade, and I'm dating a guy from HER grade.) but they look totally sweet together. Well, except for the part where he always ends up stepping on her foot and tripping. Since they're holding hands, they tend to end up in rather. . Well, they're not positions I want to be seen in with Michael. No wait, who am I kidding? NO FAIR!  
  
But, unfortunately, I just found out three BAD things to equal them, and keep a balance in my life. Well, this is the first time the good side has ever opposed the bad side. Woohoo! Go good side!  
  
I own fan fiction. Seriously, people actually take time out of their busy schedules to WRITE ABOUT ME. Of course, most of it's stuff like "What if Mia had gotten together with Josh" or "What if Mia were gay, and fell madly in love with Lana". No, I am not sick. I am serious. People actually write stuff like that. Ugh. I should probably take the time to point out that Michael is WAY cuter and more appealing than Josh. Though come to think of it, I don't know if Lily would be more disgusted if I went out with Michael again than if I broke up with him and went out with Josh the DRUNKARD. And you know what? I'm not even going to TALK about Lana. I mean, she's the girl who makes fun of my bra size, though that would mean she was staring at my bra. . Ok, I am SO not going there.  
  
The people of Genovia all own the Internet, and they all go to fan fiction places to read about my latest news. What is wrong with a princess who just wants to work for Greenpeace??? Why do they have to go looking in FAN FICTION for interesting stuff about me???  
  
GRANDMERE sold all my fan fiction rights to FanFiction.Net. Cheap skinner. I didn't even KNOW I had fan fiction rights. Actually, until Kenny very graciously explained it to me, I didn't even know what fan fiction was. At least now I know, but EWW. Somebody has a really sick mind, that's all I can say. They've probably perverted everybody else too.  
  
Mom's currently yelling stuff about ketchup in the other room. I can't believe they made me get out, because they thought I was too young to see blood, or something like that. If Lily were here, she'd say that adults are such hypocrites, because they faint more at the sight of blood than we do. They've determined that it's going to be a boy. Mr. Gianini wants to name him David. Mom wants to call him Frank, after Mr. Gianini. They both wanted my opinion, but, of course, I couldn't tell them. Mom smiled and said that I probably thought Michael was a good idea.  
  
I REALLY disagree with that comment. I mean, there is no way I can imagine Michael as this gooey eyed baby who is feeding from my mom's BREASTS. Which is, by the way, a cannibalistic custom. No, what I really wanted to name the baby was-  
  
Uh-oh, I think Mom's started. The baby's started to come out. I still hope that it's not going to be named Frank. Frank makes me think of food, for some reason, and David makes me think of that naked guy from the Bible who walked around shooting people in the forehead with pebbles from his sling.  
  
I'm going to go watch my mom give birth to my new sibling, whom I solemnly swear I won't be jealous of, and maybe offer some moral support to my mother, who is probably in more pain than the baby is. Wish me strength, and hope I don't faint from the sound of ripping flesh. . That would be so totally embarrassing for me, and for my already modest reputation.  
  
Oh God, I feel sick already. 


	2. Later

Princess or Queen?  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Princess Diaries. Meg Cabot does.  
  
A/N: I apologize for any messed up facts, or the missing dates, and I would put them up, except I don't own a copy of Princess in Love. If you could tell me what a month after the end of Princess in Love is, I will be very grateful.  
  
Wow, I never expected so many reviews, and I'm very grateful to Stormy Owl- An Onymous, princessvampire, Cassandra Anthemyst, ThePopGurlz, evil_jasna, person with no name, Cath, paula and Star. Freelancer3473 has been taken care of. *Dangerous smile*  
  
I'm sorry if I can't make it book length, although once I'm done with the entire thing I AM planning to put it into book length. Also, I was named immediately after birth. I'm not sure if this is how it works in real life, but I thought of an amusing thing to do if it were. If it isn't, please let me know.  
  
Later, still at the emergency Room:  
  
I have a baby SISTER.  
  
I am NOT kidding. The doctors got it all wrong, and now I'm stuck with a baby sister named Beth (after the nurse who washed her) David Frank Gianini. And I thought life was unfair to ME, by naming me Amelia Mignonette Grimaldi Thermopolis Renaldo. Seriously, can you imagine a GIRL being called "Frankie" or "Davy" or something? My God. I'm just glad Mom fainted before she could finish the list of names she wanted to name her, and did not ONCE mention the fact that she thought I wanted the baby to be named Michael.  
  
OK, you might be wondering why Mom would name a GIRL with guy names. Besides the fact that she likes to consider herself as a freethinking feminist, I mean. I can also chalk THAT up to the hospital's laziness, because when the baby got born, a nurse named Beth whisked her away, and started cleaning her up and stuff. AND THEN, my mother had to go and open her mouth, and say that the baby was going to be named David Frank Gianini.  
  
I heard the nurse go, all worriedly: "Are you SURE, Mrs. Thermopolis?" and innocently, (back half an hour ago, when I was still innocent) I didn't think anything was wrong YET. I thought maybe the nurse just didn't like the name, or something, and I continued dreaming about Michael, and when we could get home, and maybe I could call Lily and tell her about David, I mean.  
  
But THEN, THEN the nurse comes out and says, in a weary sort of voice: "Your mom's unconscious, but the baby's a fine healthy baby, and her name's David Frank Beth, your mom said."  
  
I heard her, but I thought I might have hearing problems, like that time when I was five, and Lily actually ADMITTED that she was WRONG about stealing her mother's bra, and we all know that Lily NEVER does that, so I MUST have hearing problems. But, apparently, Mr. Gianini heard the same thing, because he went: "Excuse me, SHE? I thought it was a boy."  
  
He said it in a kind of confused sort of way, as if hoping against all hopes that the nurse would check, and say: "Yeah, you're right, I'm sorry for the mistake. It's a boy." But no, she says: "It seems that the doctors were wrong about the gender. Don't worry sir, it happens sometimes." And she walked AWAY, which I thought was inconsiderate of her, because Mr. Gianini looked like he was about to keel over, the way my dad did when he first got a good look at my (unpregnant) mom in a mini dress.  
  
And THEN, Grandmere decided to ring us up, and ask how the baby was coming along. Actually, ASK doesn't really qualify. More like DEMAND. My mom's cellphone rang, and Mr. Gianini looked kinda sick, the way my mom looked when she realized that she was having the baby, except I don't think that Mr. Gianini is pregnant (he's too skinny, for one thing). So I picked up, and this is how the conversation went between us.  
  
Me: Hello?  
  
Grandmere: Amelia, how is your mother?  
  
Me: She's fine, she-  
  
Grandmere: Did you bring your cat to the hospital?  
  
THAT was out of the blue. And she said it kind of sharply.  
  
Me: No. I tried to, but Fat Louie wouldn't come. Why?  
  
She sounded kind of annoyed when she answered, but, of course, she always does, so that doesn't really make much of a difference.  
  
Grandmere: Amelia, how many times have I TOLD you that cats will jump on people's faces and smother them?  
  
I wisely decided not to point out that I've been living with Fat Louie for several years, and he still hasn't smothered me. It's not a good idea to antagonize Grandmere. So I changed the subject.  
  
Me: Why are you so worried about Mom anyway?  
  
Grandmere: Because, if you die, her child will be heir to the throne of Genovia, of course.  
  
THAT was a shock. And besides which. .  
  
Me: I thought Sebastian was supposed to be the heir if I died?  
  
Grandmere: He has disgraced himself in the eyes of Genovia, and the public will not accept him as King, or even possible heir. You have no other close relatives.  
  
So there IS a way to get out of being royalty. Not that I want to, by now, but if I ever get sick of it, or something, it might be a useful ace up my sleeve.  
  
So I went all innocently: "Really? What did he do?", but I think that Grandmere knew what I was after, because all she said was. "Amelia, even if YOU humiliate yourself unspeakably, all you will earn yourself is a good bout of bad publicity. And we must discuss this Michael boy, as soon as you have time. I have left this affair alone for long enough." Then she hung up, and THEN I realized I'd never told her that Mom had borne a girl. I wonder if a girl named David is a bad enough reason to un-make her backup heir to Genovia.  
  
And about Michael, we'll see. I'm not going to go to Judge Judy to keep my boyfriend, or anything, but I'm pretty sure Lily can help me. She makes a pretty good anti-royalist, anyway. I should know.  
  
A/N: Again, I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed, or just basically enjoyed the story. 


End file.
